Pressing the change button is a killer of relationships. Here’s how to stop.

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Pressing the change button is a killer of relationships. Here's how to stop.

Having trouble sleeping? Hit Snooze is the deep dive into Mashable’s how we cope with our collective insomnia and the many ways we can achieve a more peaceful sleep.

There are two types of sleepers in this world.

On the one hand, there are people who repeatedly fall short of kissing a bid to squeeze five more minutes of happy anticipation, without getting themselves out of bed out of love or money. On the other side are those who open their eyes once their alarm is sounded, fall into bed, and begin their day.

I fall into the former category, and any attempt to share a bed with another person always results in my persistent companion moaning loudly at my inability to wake my tired head in the morning. “Rachel!” they shout in exasperation. “Your alarm keeps going off!” Eyes closed and head rested tightly on the pillow, I whispered, “Just snooze. I need another five minutes of sleep.” Five minutes turns into 15 minutes, which turns into half an hour. For me, it was another morning. But for anyone sharing a bed with me, it’s distracting and annoying. Cue: loud sighs, audible groans, and secret eye rolls.

Snooze-button-hitting is a surefire way to kill any glimmer of romance. So, how can you keep all hell from falling apart when your other half happens to hate your morning sleep habits? Fortunately, you do not need to separate to maintain peace. There are actionable things you can do to save your relationship, without feeling inadequate.

When it comes to snoozing versus waking up, it’s pretty big divide. In the UK, 37 per cent of people get hit once in the morning, and 14 per cent do it three or more times, according to YouGov research. But, the same research found that 41 percent of Brits do not touch the snooze button. One in five Brits also did not bother setting a morning alarm.

Radio presenter Olivia Jones is in a relationship with a snooze-button-hitter. “He did it for our whole relationship,” said Jones, who chatted with his partner about it to try to solve the problem. “He used to have a really harsh, high-pitched noise; since he changed it into something like a wind chime, sea-style noise, which was easier to cope with,” Jones said. His partner got up earlier than he does, and Jones learned to look at it in a positive light: “If he wakes me up and I can’t sleep, I see it as an opportunity to watch something, or have a good one. coffee, which I look forward to every morning, anyway. ”

If Jones’ partner notices that his many alarms are waking him up, he’ll give him some earplugs. These small fixes have made the kiss button less of a topical issue for Jones and his partner. “Now it’s just a case of empathy for how tired she is,” he said. “I can’t be angry with someone for being tired when I get a chance to sleep more.”

Chatting about it and identifying the head-on problem is a start. But if your snoozing habits are a bit deep (really mine) then there are ways you can adopt to adjust yourself once and for all. Here’s how …

Why lashing might not be a good idea

Your relationship is not the only thing that suffers at the hands of your snooze button. According to Dr. Reena Mehra, director of research on sleep disorders at the Cleveland Clinic, snoozing prevents your body from getting restorative sleep. “Much of the latter part of our sleep cycle consists of REM sleep, or dream sleep, which is a restorative state of sleep. And if so, if you hit the change button, then you’re ignoring that is REM sleep or dream dreams, ”says Mehra. That can prompt a “fight or flight” response from your body, which can lead to increased blood pressure and a decreased heart rate. Per Mehra, repeated snoring may be a sign that a person is not getting enough sleep, or that they may have an underlying sleep disorder.

Matthew Walker, a professor of neuroscience at the University of California, Berkeley, advises against hitting the snooze button, saying “sleep disruption is not a good sleep.” He believes that repeatedly setting alarms in the morning can have an effect on your heart. “You’re literally heartbreaking,” Walker said. “Set the alarm for when you need to get up, then turn it off and get up.”

Gradually reduce the number of alarms you set

If you have pre-employed your snoozy state by setting many alarms for yourself, you may need to reconsider this decision for the sake of your relationship. Sally Fox is a morning person who almost needs an alarm. His partner, however, happens to be a “lot of people with alarms.” He said, “He always starts sooner than I do, so it was a huge bone of contention when we first moved in together. The beeping sounds were passing me by.”

Fox and his multiple alarms survived, though. “A year and a half later, and we were down from four alarms to one. We lowered one by one and started getting up earlier that night so he couldn’t sleep in the morning.”

“I think I shouted at him one morning,” he said. “Then I went back and did what I had to do – broach the subject from a calm place and promised him that I would wake him up if he fell asleep. Actually I had been a backup alarm for a bit. But now he’s better at waking up for the first time, so we get there eventually. “

Remove the bedcovers when your alarm goes off

Many of us snooze-hitters have conditioned ourselves to do exactly that every morning. William Van Gordon, associate professor of psychology at the University of Derby, proposes an alternative to the long, drawn-out battle with the snooze button. “Try to wake up as soon as possible after the alarm sounds,” he said. “Gently remove the bed covers and sit on the edge of the bed before taking a few deep breaths in and out. It’s a new day of your life. Take a deep breath and enjoy it.”

You do not need to suddenly pivot to a state of high energy once you are seated. Van Gordon says “be gentle and aware as you go to the bathroom and perform your ablutions. Then make a hot drink and enjoy every sip of it.” He explained that “Waking up in this way helps to prepare the mind for the day ahead, as well as prevent it from being too active, which can have a negative effect when time goes to bed at the end of the day.”

Ditch your lies over the weekend

This one can be painful. Lead sleep expert James Wilson (aka The Sleep Geek) says some slight changes will help eliminate what he calls Snooze Button Syndrome.

“Removing a long lie over the weekend, where you convince yourself that you’re ‘getting it’ will help,” Wilson said. “A consistent wake-up time all week allows your body to have a better quality of sleep. I know a lot of people don’t like this idea, so, because I’m not a bad person , a lie that is at least an hour and a half good. Anything more than this, and your body is starting to struggle. “

Buy an old-fashioned alarm clock

Chris Etheridge, phytotherapist and medical herbalist practitioner and consultant at Puressentiel, which produces essential oils, said that pressing repeated snoozes can have an indirect effect on your partner’s sleep.

“It can also be annoying to be in and out of sleep, so it can also affect their mood during the day – and although it’s a bit disturbing, their health and well-being can be affected,” Etheridge said. If that is not enough to prompt you to change your habits, then he or she suggests removing your phone alarm for a more difficult reset. “If you use your phone as an alarm, invest in a traditional alarm clock or keep the phone out of the bedroom door. It will also encourage you to get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button, “Etheridge said.

You can also try a light-emitting clock or dawn simulator. Wilson recommends replacing your audible alarm with a sunshine alarm clock, which you can find on Amazon, and large retailers like John Lewis.

“These clocks mimic the sun, rising at a set time, so that you can sleep slowly. Even if your alarm still needs to go off, your body is better prepared to wake up and stay awake,” Wilson said.

Make sure you get enough sleep

To de-stress ourselves from relying on the snooze button, Dr. Mehra from the Cleveland Clinic says, “Make sure you get seven to eight hours of adequate sleep and good quality sleep. 7 to 8 hours of sleep is important for our Vital and general well-being. we optimize the function of the day and have healthy relationships with our loved ones, “he added. If, after 7 to 8 hours, you still find that you need to snooze over and over, she recommends consulting a physician to make sure you do not have an undiagnosed sleep disorder that may contribute to the need to hit.

Hitting can feel like a luxury item when we accidentally pull out of our sleep every morning, but the person you sleep with next may have other ideas. Think of the bigger impact of a small and seemingly inconsistent habit on your loved one’s health and happiness. Is five minutes of extra sleep worth it? Although it pains me to say it, the answer is: probably not.

Sleep well, friends. And steer clear of the snooze button.

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