The worst part of buying another supercar with my monthly mom and dad allowance, which they give me as part of our agreement to let them drink and flirt with the young tennis instructors at the country club or whatever, is not for having to give up my usual expenses (a private jet to the islands, which gives my poorer friends a holiday home as a wedding gift) for the next 30 days. (And trust me, that's a budget lesson alone). Is that when I buy the damn car, they start asking me all these questions.
What color do I want the car to be? What about the contrast stitching? The mats? How about the material for the center console? Do I want wood accents or something else? If it is wood, what type? Embroidery on the head restraints, yes? The exterior accents: chrome, black or carbon? Do I want brand badges made of solid yellow or white gold? Rose maybe? Or carbon fiber, to save weight?
Hell, Rolls-Royce even asks me if I want art commissions inside and it makes me see his paint colors under all kinds of lighting in the world, in case the pink is not exactly the right shade if I decided to fly my Phantom to Spain for a day cruise. McLaren gives me initial color templates, Then I know what can look good together depending on my mood.
It's tiring, I tell you, and it almost makes me regret buying the car. After all, that could have been another vacation home. Or a trip to the islands.
But Bugatti, a car company that understands my needs and desires, is not making me go through that with the new special edition of Chiron Noire, which starts at more than $ 3.3 million. The model pretends to be a tribute to La Voiture Noire, which is the name of two Bugatti cars, one of the late 1930s and another of 2019, because everything is a tribute to everything when you are a proud brand. .
The elegance Bugatti Chiron Noire. Image: Bugatti
And you see, "La Voiture Noire" literally means "The black car." Everything is black. Black, black, black There is no "What kind of wood do you want?" Or "What gold would you like the emblem to be?" There are no initial color palettes that inspire me on what to choose, when I really should pay someone to do that for me. It is not black. Inside. Exterior. Everything. All black.
Nor is there a mechanical option after deciding between a normal Chiron or the lighter Chiron Sport, since most Chirons come with the Bugatti 8.0-liter W16 engine that generates 1,500 horsepower, enough to leave behind problems of my family in a materialist and in an unhealthy way.
Finally, a purchase of a supercar that does not require mental work on my part, the buyer. This is how it should be.
The only option I will have is between the Chiron Noire Elegance and the Chiron Noire Sportive, one elegant and the other "sporty". I will probably choose both, since making decisions is not my forte.
The Noire Elegance is covered with exposed carbon fiber, which is black, and a black Bugatti emblem on the front. The calipers are black, the engine cover is black and the inside is black. It's like looking at a black hole, which has about the same gravitational attraction as my parents, given their bloodline and wealth and so on. Too bad they paid me not to see me again after that public incident, and they have retired to the country club and their tennis instructors. Forgiveness is the mark of true greatness, I say.
Anyway, my other new car, the Noire Sportive, is also very black. It covers the exposed carbon fiber and about everything else in matt black, and the interior is "even more dominated by black" than in the other model. The race is limited to 20 vehicles, which means that I will have a large percentage.
And you know, everyone I've talked to has said that Bugattis are better than family anyway. I will surely be very happy when I receive them, and I will not ask for more new supercars when the next check arrives in a few weeks.
Maybe I even call them mom and dad. These two cannot disown me, after all, because I have them. Everything is very poetic.
. (tagsToTranslate) Bugatti Chiron Noire (t) Bugatti Chiron Noire Elegance (t) Bugatti Chiron Noire Sportive (t) bugatti (t) chiron (t) Jalopnik